Phone Sex 101 Access
Phone Sex is a quick, fun way to hook up with other adults for sexy conversation. Many phone sex numbers are chat lines that connect you to local people who share your fantasies, while others feature human operators ready to play.
Getting started is easy with some simple techniques like gauging interest and pregaming. And as you get comfortable, talking dirty over the phone can become more natural.
What is Phone Sex?
Phone sex is any sexual activity that takes place over the phone, whether it be naughty talk or role-playing. It can be fun and exciting, and it can also be a huge turn-on for you and your partner, especially if you aren’t in the same room as one another.
It doesn’t have to be explicit, either — even just describing your favorite dirty fantasies or what turns you on sexually can be a great way to get your mind racing and make the air between you sizzle. You can even use some playful banter to help get you in the mood, as it can be fun to see how silly or uncomfortable you and your partner will feel while trying out new turn-on territory over the phone.
As with any sexual activity, it’s always important to make sure you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to consent. This can be done by clearly asking if your partner is open to trying something new over the phone and making it clear that you’re not going to go full-out porn star.
You can also set the stage for a phone sex session by sending nudes or sexting to gauge your partner’s interest, which can act as foreplay and prep you both for what’s to come. You can also use video chat to up the ante if that’s what you both enjoy.
How to Have Phone Sex
Whether you’re already in a long-distance relationship and want to spice up your foreplay, or just looking for some virtual intimacy, phone sex can be a lot of fun. Just make sure your partner is on board and comfortable before you start talking dirty over the phone. It might be a good idea to drop some hints via flirty text first, such as letting them know you’re thinking about them all day or telling them how hot they look in a particular outfit.
The most important thing is to set the mood. Try lighting some candles, put on some sexy music and have your fave sex toys within reach. This will help to get you turned on and keep you horny throughout the call.
Another way to set the mood is to share a fantasy with your partner over the phone. This can be as simple as describing the kind of sensations you want to feel in your erection and where, or it could be more elaborate such as roleplaying or imagining a sexual scenario.
Having a shared fantasy over the phone can be just as exciting and kinky as in-person sex and will stimulate your imagination, especially if you can add details like the smell of their cologne or the sound of their voice to it.
Tips for Talking Dirty Over the Phone
Talking dirty over the phone can feel intimidating at first. But it can also be really hot, especially if you and your partner are both horny. There are two basic types of phone sex: mutual fantasy sex and in-character sex. The former involves masturbating together in your imagination and describing that to one another, while the latter involves actually performing sexual acts on each other through the phone and then describing those actions to one another.
The most important thing to remember when talking dirty over the phone is to be clear about consent. Just because someone is horny on the phone doesn’t mean they want to have sex with you in-character, so make sure that whatever you do is something your partner wants to do. “Always be frank and transparent when broaching the subject of phone sex,” Lori Michels, LMFT, an AASECT-certified sex therapist tells SELF. “This can look like a direct conversation where you straight-up ask them if they are into it, or it can look like sexy foreplay such as sending nudes or flirting over text.”
While sexting and phone sex can be fun and kinky, they can also be dangerous. It’s important to be safe and smart, especially if you’re new to phone sex. It’s also a good idea to be careful about what you say, since your photos and texts will likely end up online where anyone can see them.
Getting Started
Phone sex can be hard to start. Thankfully, there are plenty of ways to get your partner excited for the possibility of phone sex and to set the mood for an intimate call. Sending nudes, sexting, and flirting over text are all great ways to gauge your boo’s interest and to act as foreplay. These techniques will also help you to learn more about your boo’s sexual desires, including how they like to be addressed and what specific words turn them on.
Once your boo has agreed to phone sex, make sure that you have adequate privacy and have the right equipment. Turn off the television, mute any other family members who may be around, and put your fave sex toys within reach. Talking dirty over the phone can be a bit awkward at first, but it will feel more erotic once you are both comfortable with the setting and the intimacy of the call.
It is also important to be clear with your partner about what you want out of the phone sex session. “Some individuals will find that they are unable to participate in phone sex, period,” deLune notes. If that’s the case, it is perfectly acceptable to end the conversation and try again later. Other couples may find that they enjoy a more dominant role during phone sex and might like to dictate where, how, and when their boo can touch themselves during the call.
